Fecal Matter before 7 a.m.

            Oh goody, lucky me, again.  The rapturous sites that present themselves along the way, putting me in a state of calm, professional ease by the time I get to work.  A cast of ‘attractive’ men with socks pulled up to their crotches and guts hanging over their belts are strolling…yes STROLLING around the block at the crack of dawn.  Then I spy a nose picker at a stop sign.  Good, sound plan.  Great place to hide.  But then I am distracted by the nose picker because I see joggers skim their way across the sidewalk.  Thanks ladies, a great reminder that I haven’t exercised yet today.   Finally the icing on the cake, a stooping dog.  Then lots of stooping dogs…excellent…fecal matter before 7 a.m..  Actually, looking back it was a fairly exciting morning!

Bobble Head

     This is not a new concept, true.  Lots of people complain about their horrible drives to work.  I am part of this long line up of people!  What I hope to achieve with this blog however, is to accumulate all of the bad driving woes I have and then 'take out the trash' so to speak.  I will become a new, positive person.  Life's too short at 36.  But until then...

     Today is a case of whatever lane I turn into….there will be someone driving PAINFULLY slow in front of me.  Start in one lane…a slow Hyundai.  With skill I maneuver around it to the other lane….even worse!  A slower van with windows I can’t even see through.  The Hyundai speeds ahead and passes.  I get back behind the Hyundai and it hits the brakes.  Perfect.  Now the stupid Hyundai is driving at an even speed with the stupid van.   AHHHHHHH!!!!  Does no one have to get to work at 6:50am?  Are people just out for a SUNDAY DRIVE…to smell the roses at 6 bloody 50 am????? 

 To add injury to insult one such delight I was forced to crawl behind slowed down so much I identified a tacky bobble head positioned to face me in the back window, mocking me.  Slowly the fat yellow head bobbed back and forth, back and forth.  “You haven’t had your coffee yet….you haven’t had your coffee yet” it whispered through the back windshield.  And people wonder why there is a rise in road rage incidents!